The roads taken a long time ago... and then the new ones...

Some are closed, some are dug up, some look terribly new and unrecognisable, some ask me where I was all these years and invite me back with open arms, on some I fall and get up and sooo wanna get back into action despite the hurt and the pain... and there is never doubt I that will...

Mostly its the freedom of discovery of the roads, the joy and the excitement that keep me going! The people I meet on the way, the bonds I build, the changes I undergo, the person I evolve into continuously...

There is the unknown, the unexplored, the mystery, the uncertainty, but no fear...never....I realise as I feel the freedom of sometimes zipping, sometimes cruising along these roads. The is never a feeling of being lost. I always find a way out...some by myself, some 'cos of the good Samaritans that just pop up out of nowhere.

The power of Faith ...for some it is somewhere up there, for me mostly, its in my tangibles, in my actions, in my karma, in my art, in the human resilience... in myself!

I started writing this as a 'newly acquired 2-wheeler' journey in the literal sense and found the different dimensions along... got me philosophical and serious.... mostly after having looked at the footage tragedies in Japan... wish to share my 2 cents worth strength and prayers with them....

cycle of the wait...

Sometimes we never learn. We get hit, run over, stamped and what not, but we never learn. A sweet helpless pout, remorseful words, a tear or two, and the heart melts with forgiveness!! Again and again for years together.... symbolisms are hardly ever followed up with actions and then we go again.... wearing the sign - "I am easy, come take me for granted"!

All that's left behind the symbols and words - sleepless nights and days of waiting....and waiting....and waiting...

Mumbai, Pune Diaries....

MUMBAIIII - Jan 5th to Jan 9th 2011:

Some quick first impressions of the big bad city of chaos...

- The taxi driver gives me change of Rs. 3/- on a fare of Rs. 127/- exactly shown on the meter. My eyes popped out!!! This after he realised I had no clue about were I was going (athough I tried to pretend) and had instantly become my tour guide, telling me about all the buildings and areas! I actually felt guilty telling him to keep the change...lest I bring bad habits from Bengaluru!

- The local train!!! I so loved it...sorely missed in namma Bengaluru! Must admit though that u need to ask to figure out things, lest one assumes Singapore type direction maps and all....

- Oooooh the beaches! Be it a late night chat...read 2 a.m...on marine drive/queen's necklace/lover's nest/Subhash Chandra Bose Road with a friend...or the crazy marketeers of chaat on Juhu.....I can stare at the water for hours! But really have some mercy...the Girgaon chowpaty is in the dumps literally! It's plastic and garbage strewn all over! And to think I worried that the shoes I had worn instead of chappals would'nt let me feel the water on my toes!!!

- Another word about the local transport...when I ask the auto driver 'Santa Cruz?' he just stares back blankly...while I wait for his highness to approve of my destination. Talk about getting in bad habits....arrre he cudnt care less where I am going...get in already! Took me a while to stop asking them hesitantly, while I pray they agree to come. After 4 days of this, gonna be hard to stop myself from walking straight into an auto confidently!

- The Mumbai Darshan.... a dinchak bollywoodish tour wasnt something up my alley.. what with co-passengers staring at the single 'Indian' female. I wondered..."In Mumbai??" oh yeah...sorry...Mumbaikars arent doing the Mumbai Darshan! ANyway....its cheap...I mean money-wise and surely value for money. My jeevan is saarthak after having made darshan of bungalows of Lata Mangeshkar, Ambanis, Amitabh, Salman, Rekha, Rajesh Khanna...rest I forget...of course 'Mannat'! haha! I dont have to do my Kashi Yatra now! But Hey! I did quite like the Nehru Science center with kids running all over and the fantastic show at the planetarium.

- Living in the Colaba area felt just like that..."Living"!! Walking around the heritage buildings at any time of the day or night, the Taj and Gateway neighborhood pondering on life and its temporariness, makes you want to LIVE IT UP!

- The weekend shows at NCPA - Dr. L Subramaniam's magic and explorations of Lady Macbeth using classical dance, NGMA, Jehangir Art Gallery, Prince of wales Museum, Prithvi's ambience - made me feel like I was combining work with pleasure and what pleasure it was to work!!

PUNE - Dec 28th to Jan 5th:

- Relaxed setting, Bangalore like weather, therapeutic cooking sessions and felt much like home, for all the vegetating that I needed....not to mention the mind space required to make some big decisions in life!

- Koregoan park, Camp, MG Road, Kalyani Nagar, Magarpatta...explored as much as possible with the 'transport' available....even managed an art of living bhajan on new year's day. And very thankful for the transport :-)

- The drive upto Sinhagad was torturous on a Sunday with the whole crowd going up there to create a traffic jam. Managing a U turn and getting back after covering 3/4th uphill was quite the task! Parbati was the alternate destination and was well worth spending the evening of my day of birth so many years ago, contemplating achievements and failures on a hilltop mandir.

Love can be damned..respect is paramount!

Read on an agony aunt column answered by Pooja Bedi....
The agony is of a woman who is in a relationship with someone who claims he will love her all his life, but wont marry cos his folks wont agree...however he will marry someone else.
So Ms. Bedi says to the effect - It is clear he wants u to be a side dish.....it depends on wht u want n life..... if I were u, I'd walk out in a jiffy. "love can be damned, respect is paramount".

When I read it the first time around..I said wow Ms. Bedi....way to go...u hit the nail on its head! But there was something nagging about that statement....wasnt respect a part of love??? When did they become mutually exclusive? Does one really love someone and treat him/her without respect? And does one who puts up with lack of respect in a relationship labeled 'warm and loving' respect oneself? Or was it lust she was talking about then?......

At the cost of sounding old..

I savour the days when the hotspots of Bengaluru (what we knew as Bangalore) were - All Saints/Fatima stores (to buy imported bread stuff and chocos and dates), Indiana or La Casa (to hangout with buddies cos they were the most happening cool places), Pavitra hotel at Jayanagar (To go for sumptuous meals with family which offered 'North Indian' khana), the few fruit chaats and other street chaats on the streets or the special treats in sukh sagar (cos our immunity was really high and the taste was perfect), the 2 or 3 small jewelry stores mom would drag me to (cos they knew her tastes so well and designed jewelry which took a long time to get made and she'd wait patiently, after all it took a long time to even plan it), the rare KSIC or one other place where sarees shopping would be a well thought out affair, the English teleserials and different language movies on Doordarshan late nights, and so on the list goes.....

Loved the waiting, the longing, the novelty, the savouring, feeling special and remember it all with a tad bit nostalgia... especially in the post liberalisation era, where there we are so spoilt for choice and and there's so much to do on even 2-day weekends, when even I (forget the newer generation) dont think things get done fast enough.

I miss them days and I miss myself from that age when I feel the stress of daily life....

Thanks Katie Perry!

Listening to You makes my day!

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Chah Nahin

Chah Nahin Mai Sur-Bala Ke Gehnon Mein Guntha Jaaon...

Chah Nahin Premi Mala Mein Bindh, Pyari Ko Lalkaoon...

Chah Nahin Samraton Ke Shav Par, Hey Hari Dala Jaaon...

Chah Nahin Devon Ke Sar Par Chadoon, aur Bhagya Par Itraoon...

Mujhey Tod Lena Banmali, Us Path Par Tum Dena Phenk...

Matra Bhoomi Par Sheesh Chadhaney, Jis Path pa rJaayen Veer Anek!

- Harivanshrai Bachhan

An attempt at an english translation:

Not on a damsel's beauty to adorn
Not in a lover's garland to beckon
Not on the king's body to mourn
Not on images of Gods, to be blessed upon
But O' gardener, let me fall around
Where the martyrs of my motherland walked the ground!