At the library with all the Ludlums, Wodehouses beckoning, imagining myself curled up with books strewn all over the place, dark circles of pleasure around the eyes, I quickly shut it out and say...."later when I have that time to myself"
At home when dust has settled a few layers and the room is messed up with bags to be sorted out, imagining myself tidying up sweaty and dirty and loving the clean sites, I postpone it again...."No not now...cant afford to now...surely is a short while when I have the absolute freedom"
The plants drying up in the sun, pots in dire need of replacing, repotting, weeds giving me a mock salute...I say "Wait you devils, just a little bit, until I take the timeout...I'll tackle you guys!"
Mom's old recipes crying out loud for attention and asking to be passed to the next generation..."One day soon I'll get to you and take a crash course and learn it all"
The economic times and the investment plans being thrown to the newspaper raddi guy reminding me that this is what I'll end up later in life.."No No...I'll learn all there is to master in managing my finances like Zig Zagler or whoever tells us and have a an enviable portfolio ...just wait..no time now, but just wait"
The zillion movies my mate picked up with all the enthu to watch with me..."Not today, I have to do something useful" !! eh!?? what useful thing did I do finally?.....I forget
The learning that I shelled out a huge sum of money for.....now its "Until I find time to devote more time to this, I can only prepare for the exams and clear them"!!
The keyboard...a sorry sight, which was bought after years of craving for one; taken for granted in the corner now "Until I have more peace I cant play...but that day is just around the corner"
Disovery and Nat Geo and backpackeurope.com popping out everywhere as messages...."I'll take that break and just set out..just waiting for that right moment"
The bad roads and the traffic and the general disillusionment telling you that its time YOU did something...."yes of course! Just a matter of lack of time right now...in good time..."
The dancing sacrificed, the singing badly aloud in the bathroom replaced by planning the tasks, the heart to hearts with good friends ending up as staid SMSes or mindless scraps and pokes....
The whirlpool sucks you into its security and recession and slowdown and money and questions and free advice from 'well meaning' well wishers who have already been sucked right into it, you go on postponing and suspending it...LIFE that is......for how long? until the next layoff or serious illness or ........?
