c'est la vie

When we are faced with testing times, there are a lot of things we abuse the world for and questions we ask ourselves. When we earnestly ask and really want to know, we do get the right answers. It could be a message at the back of a car "Jesus loves you, ask and he shall give" (Pls Note - Not advocating 'born-again-anything-religious'), it could come as a word of wisdom from someone you hardly expect to be wise, a book left on the table of a waiting room with some insight, a negative behaviour from someone you put on a pedestal even....a whole lot of messages. One only needs to be aware and open.  

Why this ranting? I have practiced Yogasanas intermittently from childhood....I dont say Yoga, I say asanas. And thats all I have done....and maybe some pranayama and meditation. The recent teacher's training course I joined would also have been just another yogasana exercise, except that I was in the right phase of life to appreciate what it really meant to lead a Yogic way of life. I had been asking all these questions and personally the answers here seem most satisfying. I felt elated that the Yoga is THE answer and jumped into it headlong, only to have huge limitations and blocks imposed on me to practice it in its entirety and the testing times only getting worse. The more I think I want to work on some obstacle, cirscumstances change to test me with the biggest of them all, as if mocking me to rethink if I really am capable of it. The need for attachments being the most difficult of them all. Attachments to things, food, habits, behavior, desires, pets, acheivements, and of course the biggest of them all...People. Attachments lead to expectations which lead to disappointment, the obvious cycle. Even without expectations, they can cost you a lot of emotion.

It isnt that easy to appreciate the principles of Karma and Dharma when faced with situations where you need to be detached-yet-attached in the temporary worldly way for as long as your soul inhabits the human body. As always it is easier to intellectualise than to practice. But my path is set and there is progress and a lot of Peace that comes with it and that Quality of Peace is...to say the least, ADDICTIVE!

Stepping off the philosophy halo effect (if the reader is still reading!), we all ask at some point - why me? Anything isnt really that big a deal if you detach yourself from it. We are just slaves of our thinking and the mind plays dangerous games. Some may want to move away from it, or some may want to revel in it. Its a CHOICE and that choice is entirely in our hands...no amount of harping on Destiny takes that Choice away.

There are different paths to feeling the Peace.....the yogic path is one of them...a path that has worked for me and a whole lot of others apparently. It then becomes my duty to share it with whoever needs it (just have to find a less boring-sounding way :-)).

Logos, Mythos & Ekstasis

Was reading the intro bit of the book The Case for God at a cafe at lunch and got carried into the self introspection of what religion is personally in the modern world context and what God means! Couldnt go beyond the first few pages, but left me thinking enough to write this note...

Logos for logic in Greek is how I primarily remember being till recently, requiring a scientific and logical explanation for everything and not convinced otherwise. Served (still does) me really well for the best part of life, except when I couldnt figure out how some things simply dont add up. Despite being very thankful for a keenly analytical mind, there have been times I remembered going for the overkill with analysis, destorying precious moments of joy.....especially joy. And somehow despite it all the Mythos (Mythical) way of looking at life that seems to have crept in unknown. The route - my Art. Always been a part of life, in the background, grounding me, adding a touch of faith when things seemed murky and unfathomable. A creative way of problem solving rather than a logical one. Something that worked beyond the 'limits of logic'. Classical music and dance are quite structured and at the surface they dont seem to let the free flow without having a process or rules around them. BUT! When one revels in them, and keeps practicing the joy and immense emotion they bring is the ekstasis. Indescribable by any argument of logos. As my Guru handed me the ghungroos and said, this will come to your rescue when things are down, I wanted to tell her, they already had!

As a budding teacher I learn something new about my dance and myself every moment even while teaching the same things over and over again. I astonish myself at how much my students seem to enjoy themselves, and not necessarily always for the dance but just to be in this positive environment we have all come together to create! When they remember me with such great fondness and undiluted love, wherever they are, it warms me so much and there is absolutely no logical explanation for that. When I remember that if I had tried to envisage an event scale that happened on Dec 3rd 2011 within the limits of logic and practicality, I would have given up on day one! It was the thinking beyond logic that brought together like minded people to selflessly participate and made it possible to execute....of course logically.

The universe conspires.....and THAT is GOD!

I am slowly learning not to question everything, especially the good things and to believe that the 'coincidences' arent the exceptions of logic but they are there because you asked for them. Maybe fervently asked for them at some point and forgot about it since the logical mind didnt expect them to happen. And that they do not need to be scrutinised and dissected and analysed just because some past experiences have shown you how trusting your faith in yourself or other people has let you down.

But this learning is with a fear, hopefully a healthy fear and it takes practice to have complete faith and it is a process. Like repeating the single foot chakkars until the skin peeled off from the foot and the new smooth one replaced it to show off the ease of the chakkars later. The faith was for the words of a Guru who promised to trust her that the new smooth skin will work wonders. This practice, this honing of the mind and the heart, as the book seems to suggest, is Religion.....and the way it was supposed to be done are the rituals, to reach out to a state of that defies logical explanation and boundaries.

The unrelenting faith and the hope which guide me is the GOD!

When the stakes are not high in terms of money or other attachments in the final leg of life's journey, and when you and I are just here to do our karma which is to be happy without hurting ourselves or other beings, nothing really matters. Karmanne vaadhikaraste......