Patheticity

At times one gets so pathetic...
ego hassles, need for reassurance, need for attention, need for visibility......all maturity goes out of the window!
mostly its really silly...and only gets sillier... heck!!! its always for the small inconsequential things
wallowing in the slush and yucky muck of self pity.....whats it about humans and attention!?? and one wants attention from where its going to be unavailable....unreasonable!
and looking back, want to go back...be more respectable...but the moment's gone and the bad taste still lingers on and nothing can be done...

where rainbows follow u around...

Napa valley California...the abode of scenic delights and "bottled poetry" a.k.a wine!!!!

Alternating between sun and rain we got the best of both views...the very reason we saw rainbows everywhere and couldnt stop clicking! We saw not 1 but 3 different rainbows and the entire 180 degrees views!!!!
But civilisation manifesting itself in the form of electric lines and poles is something the camera lens simply cannot ignore...! A picture unfortunately cannot capture or invoke the same gamut of emotions that the lens of the naked eye does, which technology has not come close to simulating yet....but yes, can remind u of how u felt:)
This pic above is the real, un-photoshopped, uncropped, raw version just as it was clicked and just need to multiply its beauty a few times for how it looked!

Some wine tasting of, I think it was called Sanguine something at Oakville (oak, bitter sweet chocolate, fruit,...lost track) left me with the oaky, 'thovarpu' taste in my mouth! Felt like an anpadh ghawar trying to understand the supposed differences between chardonnay, poit noir, and something blah blah (or rather bleuah bleuah..;))...and their characteristic flavours...for all my...' i like wine' talks...must admit that this got too technical and painfully elitist for me 'common woman'! thank goodness, didnt take the vineyards tour on wine processing processes (at the cost of sounding like a wet blanket here!) what's google for..can get a virtual tour, worst case!:)

MMMmmmm...and the dipping oils and the dipping sauce, now lets talk about the taste buds going on a riot! olive oil n balsamic vinegar n herbs etc etc...exclusive stuff! So armed with this, am going on to re-create the Californian Italy back at namma Bengalooru!

Inadequacy...Envy...Greed...

I sometimes think I am above these petty emotions...but they crop up for the most silliest reasons and leave me feeling terribly petty!

Inadequacy.....I just cant get myself to say...'so what if I can't yet drive a car in the US...big deal!' Well, it is such a normal thing to do here, an I hate not being able to do atleast the normal stuff...forget ditching an MS course (which I dont consider normal anyways)!
Have been told it is normal to feel uncertain at first but I realise that u need to relate to the vehicle, need to visualise myself enjoying the drive, which does not seem to be there for 4 wheelers, especially when I catch myself looking longingly at a sexy Harley-Davidson and imagining me on it...YES riding it, not on the pillion!! I know that it'll take me only seconds to start a motorbike for the first time and zoom off....no sweat! Will I ever be able to get my enticer back home or is it just a stupid impractical dream....

Envy...when u hear of people carrying on very happily without u, be it at work or at home or elsewhere, a small pang of envy spreads its icy fangs slowly and lingers on. Strange! since u wanted things to go on smoothly without u in the first place!

Greed...well thats when u want to have it all! Want everything, should have the cake and eat it too and also want an icecream after that, and yeah of course a drink! Just can't stand missing out on the important stuff while I am away....as though time halts for the rest of the world, just so that I dont miss out!

time out..will visit the other deadly sins later...

who is calling...

this strange pull
these undefined feelings
full of contradictions
the song of my land triggers an outburst
like the fizz gushes out from the bottle of champagne
unexpected...unwarranted...
...champagne is great stuff n all, but I still like to fall to the floor!
[ok that was a pathetic analogy...but so apt!]

Yosemite....The reason is finally clear!

There is a reason for everything...I have been out to snowy countries thrice and once to the Himalayan foothills never seen the white magic ever! Italy was a bad miss...it snowed the day after I left!!Then I see snow in all its magnificence at the Yosemite national park - California!! And add to it the waterfalls and the green and the red leaves and the blue skies and the rocks and hills...what do you have? a few picture postcard calenders...except that this time I got greedy and included myself in all the picture postcards...'patel snaps' as they call it;)

So like they said so truly 'everything happens for a reason' and this time the reason that I missed all the snow so narrowly elsewhere was to get the most spectacular view with greater company to boot! And I believe in the most narcissistic way that nature conspired to bring this to me:)))
Anything more I say about this place will dilute its essence!