BLACKLISTED

I had to face a difficult situation sometime ago. A good friend of mine points to this other lady and says, "I don't understand how people like this can be happy", the voice was filled with disgust and loathing, or I don't know if I was imagining it. When I asked what caused that statement, I was told, "she has applied for divorce, she wants to get rid of him". I was shocked, not because this other girl had applied for divorce, but because this good friend of mine was being so...What's the word..Puritanical?Judgmental? I do not know.
A million thoughts and emotions raged through my mind and the first one was anger, again not at the girl who applied for divorce but at my friend, and probably me for listening to all this. It all came flooding back then, the comments about the going-to-be-divorced girl's clothing and the way she carried herself etc etc over the last few months. Then I tried to reason with her, "you never know what prompted her to do it, do you?", "I know quite a few divorcees, their stories are always sad, and really not one person's fault", "people who put up a brave front and look happy maybe the victims", "its sometimes considered better to part ways when the going is decent than to suffer and die a bitter person" and an added million other thoughts all trying to take center stage! Its not that my friend is the vile villain or I am this super sensitive good soul, it just has to do with perspectives and the amount of experiences or exposure one has. She is actually one of the most generous, forgiving people I know.
Well, none of my thoughts and words did get much bhaav and the topic got changed and I was left frustrated, since I wanted desperately to hear an acknowledgement of what I said and I wanted an understanding or atleast a willingness to keep open mind that there generally is more than meets the eye, that dressing in a way that's considered hip and happening does not necessarily mean that someone is 'fast and easy', or takes relationships very lightly or is promiscuous (not that any of this was ever said, but always gets implied...hanging in the air types) and even if that is so, what business does anybody have to question the way someone lives his/her life?, and putting on a brave/happy front need not imply anything! I had gotten myself so angry...I was seething!
I am truly hoping that the little of what I said will trigger off something....sometime. But again who am I to judge this friend, who am I to say she should keep an open mind. Maybe there's something in her experience that has her reacting this way,.......... and maybe I will also get blacklisted in these circles for what I was trying to say, and maybe that's not so bad after all....kinda used to that anyways....a lot of maybes. But I do believe that a debate and discussion and dialog however depressing and frustrating go a long way in change of attitude for a healthier more open atmosphere. On that thought I am not seething anymore:)