solitude misunderstood!

Recently read this piece by Mahesh Dattani in the Week - passing thought section. He writes about people's choices to stay/live alone which is generally looked at very sympathetically, gist being, loner always made== lonely.
I remember that as a kid that I was quite content being the loner but would always get looked at very sympathetically (being a single child over and above this just adds to the spice!). Even to this day, I have absolutely no issues sipping coffee or shop or travel all by myself. Not that I dont enjoy company of people or abhor a good chat/gossip, it's just that I quite enjoy 'my' company too. And very frankly, I have never had longings for siblings to make me complete. Turned out quite normal and even a little generous being the single child.

Quite a few of my growing up years were spent in opposing the instituion of marriage et all and the strong opinion got more meat when people would give me really skewed ideas to get married and procreate! Would be either 'what about companionship when you are old and grey?' or 'what about support systems when you are old, in the form of your children who will look after you when you cannot?'. And since these things were supposedly sound reasons, I would retort 'Why the hell should I punish myself today to be looked after when I am old? I'll find another way!' ...the feminist that I was!
My arrogance didnt go down very well but quite a few these folks' 'budhape ke sahare's are NRIs and some some dont even have their old and grey life partners! And they do manage to chug along inspite of not wanting to be alone, swallowing expectations from their kith and kin. But yes I do agree, really sorry state, especially if you dont understand the term 'loner'! and if you are conditioned in your expectations from fellow humans. Most of them cannot even relate to the idea of an old age home and equally ruined gets their NRI children's pride.... Not that I have any problems with making your fortunes and a better life in another country...perfectly fine to be an NRI, absolutely no judgement on that one. I just analyse the various pride and expectations equations here. I could go on, but thats another topic all by itself!

If I am married today despite my earlier revolts, it is definitely not to have a companion at 60 but to have one today! And I still very much am a loner who still likes to go shopping alone (to the obvious relief of husband:)), think my own thoughts and find ways to avoid obligatory social events (Of course the seriousness of the situation of avoiding social events can be very high when you are a 'marital status' person! and I like a good challenge as always;)) or travelling alone. And no, dont want to have kids as an old age investment or because there's nothing better to do or because babies are good fun or it's the law of nature or the biological clock is ticking....! Only if and when there is a real, true need (not sure what that is yet) and sure enough, I will still remain the 'loner'!